When you feel people are not listening to you the way you want them to, 80% of the time, the problem is with you and what you are saying. See, people won’t just listen regardless of what you are saying… No, it must be worth it.
Some of the reasons people don’t listen include:-
- You are telling lies and they got tired of pointing it out so they just switch off
- You are over-repeating yourself
- You are rushing to speak but not addressing what they have asked for
- You have already errored and need to correct what you are saying before you even go ahead to say something else
- You are saying uncoordinated things, jumping from one subject to another and then back and forth for longer than is acceptable
- You are not listening to them first, you just want to say something. In the same breath, they too decide that they are not interested in what you have to say
- They are listening but you feel if they don’t respond the way you want them to then you need to speak some more
- Its bad timing, they are in the middle of something else and it’s taking up their mind.
- They are preoccupied with misconceptions and pre perception hence they think they already know what you want to say
- They didn’t anticipate your talk would turn out the way it has so they are already bored
- You are saying something that is not helping the situation at hand thus wasting their time
- You are asking irrelevant questions and for unclear motives, as you go about the talking
- You don’t listen when they are explaining too, you are more interested in responding and they won’t let you because it makes no sense to respond to something you haven’t understood
- You are using the wrong tone and that already means you need to adjust first or they won’t listen
And etc.
Two things,
- Do you realize that more than half the reasons why people do not listen have more to do with the person communicating than they do with those listening?
- Do you realize that news is the most listened to but if the news anchor was anything like any of these vices from the communicator’s side, most of us would not tune in for the news bulletin?
So next time before you complain that people must listen to you, ask yourself if you would listen to yourself? Is what you are saying worth their attention? Should people just listen regardless of what you say and how you say it?… Because clearly their attention is earned, not demanded.